Richard’s Ramblings

Apparently, Miss November 1992, owner of the Goddessy website, is at it again, setting a wonderful example to all other Bunnies out there, upholding the high standards of the Playboy Mansion.

In response to the first email received from Sorceress, my loyal reader (and friend) sent a rebuttal:

“1. Call it navy if you wish, but it is still less easy to read than it should be.

2. Admittedly I should have been less harsh in the phrasing of the ONE comment I made (blue on black is hard to read) but it should still have been taken as constructive criticism.

3. I only made the ONE comment. The rest is clearly quoted from elsewhere and I was letting you know of what was said by someone else about your site.

4. Awfully bigoted, aren’t you?”

Pretty straightforward and reasonably nice, all things considered. Her eloquent reply?

“Apparently, you have too much time on your hand[s] and the imaginary person who commented on the GODDESSY web site was you. GODDESSY makes over 70 million dollars a year and surely does not need the help of an amateur. Besides, you are nothing but a shriveled up old trøll who only wishes he had half a brain to be as successful. (You’re probably on welfare and purchased your old broken down computer on credit.) So go back to the áššhølë you crawled out of and stay there.

Have a nice day!

P.S. You are Mario’s jew friend. Why don’t you stop jërkìng off to me and buy a høøkër!? No one else wants you, you ugly báštárd.”

According to Stephanie’s boastful email, her company makes $70,000,000 per year. Not bad for a website that sells $10 charms and incense pouches, $50 bags of herbs, $20 aromatherapy oils, and $20 8×10 photos. Of course the services probably help as well: $20 Tarot card readings, $30 love readings, $100 love compatibility charts, $50 birth charts, $20 name interpretations, and the ever-popular $20 dream interpretations.

As of this writing, PayPal has identified only one verified buyer of her goods and services since she opened her account with their online payment service on March 10, 2002. For your sake, Stephanie, I hope that person bought $8,750,000 worth of goods and services, otherwise you’re falling behind on your annual quota. Is that reflected in your business plan? If not, maybe people should think twice about paying you $500 to create a business plan for them (as advertised on your Stephanie Adams website).

PayPal is fine for personal sites and auctions, but not the best method today to accept payment from successful businesses. But then you know that, don’t you, Stephanie, being the professional web designer that you are? In examining her HTML code once again, I noticed that if some poor schmuck actually purchases anything from her site, PayPal re-routes the unfortunate buyer to a Thank You page after the transaction is complete. Thanks, Stephanie for putting the user name and password on that page, because now I’m able to access your members-only site without actually having to pay you $5.

The great thing is that I can’t be accused of doing anything immoral or illegal by accessing your member pages, because you published the username and password on a publicly accessible website first, and then stated, “You may login to the Goddessy members section at any time”. Thanks! I don’t think I want Stephanie in charge of creating a website to hold my secure data, do you? Not even for the bargain large-company price of $10,000 that she advertises.

Now that I’ve entered her members-only section (remember, I entered it through publicly accessible pages, with her written permission!), I find her message on hate interesting, yet relevant: “Hate is a nomadic nemesis. Hate often wanders and often finds a place in all of us. Should we choose to dismiss it, we find peace. Should we choose to welcome it, we find madness. The next time you feel hatred, ask yourself where it comes from. The next time you open your door, ask yourself if you are prepared to really see what is on the other side. And the next time you try to look inside another person’s home, take a look first inside your own.” Take a long look, Stephanie, before you write that next email.

In her own words, “once harm is wished upon or attempted towards someone, that harm often goes back to the person who tries to inflict it.” I think that Stephanie should be much nicer to people who email her trying to provide her with constructive criticism. Reminds me of that playground mantra, “I am rubber, you are glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!” Also interesting that your horoscope, Stephanie, which you supposedly penned yourself, tells you to “remove all the excess baggage you’ve been struggling with in the past and move on.” Move on, already! All someone did was to make a comment that your blue on mostly black site is difficult to read. Learn from it!

So, anyway, I tried the same technique on the Stephanie Adams site that I did on Goddessy. Guess what? That works, too! Thanks, Stephanie, for once again publishing the login information on a publicly accessible page!

OK, let’s see what I find…

The first thing I see when I click the login link on the Thank You page is “The page cannot be found. The page you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily unavailable.” That must be a secret message or something because a talented web designer like Stephanie would never make a mistake like that! I wonder what it means…

Well, the $100 I saved in membership fees buys me the statement from Stephanie that “I make the products, I provide the services, I write the articles, I answer all e-mails… I do everything.” That’s really ambitious for an executive of a company that has $70,000,000 in annual revenues.

That $100 would have given me access to the same biography, product catalog, and list of print appearances that I found outside the members-only area, plus a few pictures of her fully clothed. At least the news section is only a month old; last month she held an online interview, went to a bikini fashion show, attended events at Tanqueray and Bacardi, and escorted Hugh Hefner to his seat at his roasting at the Friar’s Club. And they didn’t even mention her name under her picture, just captioned her as “Playboy escort”. Whew, what a busy schedule! What an overwhelming success story!

The only other “information” I can find is that her friends are Carol Shaya, Darlene Bernaola and her twin sister, and Victoria Zdrok, all Playboy Bunnies, of course. But they’re obviously not very good friends, because the pictures don’t even show them together, they’re just movie or calendar covers instead. Based on her attitude, it’s no wonder she doesn’t have any true friends. Wouldn’t you at least expect that a paid members-only area on a Playmate’s site would at least have some nude pictures? Not here! That’s all there is on her site, nothing more. I would have expected a lot more from such an accomplished and successful web designer. And I didn’t even get to read any information about her cat as promised! Boy, I’m sure glad I saved that $100!

Stephanie, I’m sorry to say that you do need the help of an amateur, or anybody for that matter; whoever you find could probably do a better job than you. Maybe you should take a portion of the imaginary $70,000,000 and hire an imaginary web development team. You are very beautiful on the outside, but ugly on the inside. Maybe that explains your fixation with shriveled-up trolls. And, in order for my unfortunate reader to crawl “back to the áššhølë [he] crawled out of”, he’d have to find a really big áššhølë.

I think he just did.

[UPDATE: the techniques mentioned above used to gain public access to the members-only section are no longer functional due to Stephanie's subsequent reimplementation of the payment process. Looks like I taught her something after all.]

If you liked this, you might also be interested in:

• A Letter to Playboy Enterprises…
• Web Designing in the Nude…
• Stephanie Adams is Wacko…
• WOMC: Word of Mouth Connection Scam…
• Wikipedia Editing Weirdness…
• Voting History vs Personal Privacy…
• The Origin of Emails…