A Recent eBay Auction…
Bonfante Gardens should hire this guy to replace their existing marketing department. I mean, whoever dreamt up the “Bonfante is Excellenté” slogan really doesn’t deserve a job. The winning bid on this memorable auction was $43.27.
Polk Audio Computer Speakers - Man, they suck!
These are some truly horrible Polk multimedia speakers. They came with an HP computer I bought a year ago. They’re bad, brutally so. I had speakers that sucked worse once - they came on my first PC in 1991. It was OK for speakers to suck in 1991. The funny thing is that there is nothing at all wrong with these speakers. They are in perfect working condition! That means… they are supposed to suck. And boy-oh-boy do they ever! If I were the president of Polk I would insist that we not put out çráp like this - let someone else do it. But I guess someone has to make low-end speakers.
These will go great on your HP computer and sound really nice! Just kidding. But they’ll be just as good as any other speakers of the same type. I see people actually buying these pieces of garbage on here, so here are mine.
As an added inducement, because these speakers won’t sell themselves, here’s the deal: Buy my speakers and I’ll be your best friend! That’s right, on a one-time basis only when you have a fight with your girlfriend, or you wreck your car, or something else depresses you, you can call me and I’ll listen to you and pretend I care for 17 minutes, while watching reruns on TV. (Additional minutes can be purchased separately. On eBay, of course. This is not fee avoidance.)
Two rules:
- I will not talk dirty to you.
- I will under no circumstances listen to you complain about the quality of your speakers.
So, if you’re one of those people who are bidding on someone else’s auction for these speakers, BUY MINE. Mine are just as good as theirs - they both suck.
While the auction was in progress, the seller added some additional information:
Thanks for all the email. To answer some of the questions I’ve received:
- Yes, they sound really bad.
- No, you cannot carry my child.
- The 17 minutes will be strictly enforced.
- Yes, you are welcome to win and avoid the shipping charges by having me throw away the speakers if you choose, but then you can never experience the thrill of hearing this fine Polk product.
To the Vice President of Engineering at Polk Audio: Thank you for your email. I’m certain that you do make some very fine products. I’m equally certain that this is not one of them.
With bidder names like no-longer-a-registered-user, like-im-really-gonna-pay-for-this-ugly-piece-of-çráp, or non-paying-bidder-but-will-bid-on-anything-just-ask-anybody, if I were him I wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for a payment confirmation from PayPal…
