Richard’s Ramblings

Dear Christie Hefner:

“Once a Playmate, always a Playmate” is the official Playboy philosophy regarding the lifetime relationship between Playboy Enterprises and its centerfolds, an implication that the girls are always on stage, representing Playboy at all times. Their wholesomeness, their actions, their demeanor all reflect on the image of Playboy, both positively and negatively.

Stephanie Adams, Miss November 1992, is publicly sullying the name of Playboy Enterprises and all it stands for with her current actions.

It all started with my search for sample web designs on the Internet on April 19 when I came across www.goddessy.com, a private company purporting to produce “brilliantly created web sites for companies.” These sample designs were, in my opinion, so awful, so visibly vomitous that I wrote about them in my personal online “blog” called Richard’s Ramblings which is intended mainly for the amusement of my family and friends. One of my then very few readers, coincidentally my best friend, emailed the owner of the website, telling them, “Saw your site. You would think someone endeavoring to make a business out of web design would realize that blue text on a black background is REALLY hard to read. BTW, I came to your site because it was mentioned in a column about truly bad web design.” Seemed innocent enough, constructive criticism as provided by someone who had visited her website.

Her unbelievable response on April 23 was: “You need glasses. The background is navy and the text is blue. You are no one but the old, ugly little Jew I met in Italy with Mario (who wishes you were Italian). Get a life and stop wishing you could be with me (or communicate with me) because not only are you are a trøll, but you have too much time on your hands (when your small shriveled up dìçk is not in them jërkìng øff thinking about me). Have a nice day!” By the way, neither of us knows a Mario, neither of us is Jewish, and we remain eternally clueless to this reference.

It turns out that Goddessy is owned by Stephanie Adams, and all the services of the company are performed by her personally. The Goddessy website is intimately tied with her www.stephanieadams.com website which plasters the Playboy name all over it. Until the second email, neither of us had any idea who the incredibly rude “blue on black” web designer was.

He sent a couple hey-wait-a-minute sane, non-profane responses to her tirades, copies of which I have if you are interested in reading, but the obscene emails continued flowing into his private email account:

April 24 — “Apparently, you have too much time on your hand[s] and the imaginary person who commented on the GODDESSY web site was you. GODDESSY makes over 70 million dollars a year and surely does not need the help of an amateur. Besides, you are nothing but a shriveled up old trøll who only wishes he had half a brain to be as successful. (You’re probably on welfare and purchased your old broken down computer on credit.) So go back to the áššhølë you crawled out of and stay there. Have a nice day! P.S. You are Mario’s jew friend. Why don’t you stop jërkìng øff to me and buy a høøkër!? No one else wants you, you ugly báštárd.”

April 25 — “FÙÇK YOU!!! If you had your own life, you would mind your own business (but obviously, you do not have a life)… The web site does NOT exist. You’re a lonely, depressed, poor, old, ugly, jew boy and a liar and you are nothing but a pathetic fan who wishes you could be with someone like me. Apparently, you have been looking up information on several of my web sites and are a deranged, áššhølë who came from a mother who was probably a høøkër and a father who was probably an alcoholic. You sound like the type and any if you send any further e-mails, they will be forwarded to my security department, who by the way, WILL find out who you are, where you live and more. BEWARE!!!”

April 25 — “You should now that you are being investigated on now as we speak. My Uncle is a Police Commisioner and all of your information has been forwarded to him. You will not find any kind of peace until you answer to him. All future e-mail from you has been automatically set up to be sent to his department of investigations. He already knows who you are, where you live, etc, but to protect me in the event something is “done” about you, I will be able to testify to not knowing. By the way, you and your Jew friend are both old, poor, ugly, short, jealous, demented, lonely trolls who are still wishing you could be with a woman like me. You are so unworthy, you’re not even good enough for me to šhìt in your mouth. Try to be happy, if you can, because you will soon have to answer to my Uncle. It might not be directly, but from what he told me today, you will be getting the message soon… You will soon have your hands cut off for it.”

April 25 — “The next time you try to give amateur advice (because you ARE an amateur), try not to. You know nothing (which is why you are unemployed) and you are an ignorant buffoon (which is why your lover left you). Also, get in shape (your belly is getting fatter), get some hair implants (your hair is starting to thin faster now), do something about your skin problem (it is bad), see your doctor (because you are about to encounter a bad physical ailment), take a look around your house (something is missing) and try not to drink so much anymore (your liver is not well). The joke is on you fool, because you didn’t think you were going to be told off or physically visited by people for doing it, but you will be the one who will suffer and “get back to you” what you tried to give. No place in the world is unattainable… You cannot hide… You can’t even run… Live your life like a sitting duck now… because the hunt is on…”

April 30 — “Thought you should know… My Uncle’s best guy (who works for him) moved to Mountain View, California today. You see, he got this great job at your company and will be giving a “hands on approach” to the employees there. Isn’t that wonderful? Have a nice day… and do be careful. I hear that the area you live in is not too safe.”

At this point, my friend notified the local police department and district attorney’s office in response to her maniacal threats of bodily harm, and informed her via email on April 30 to stop sending the threatening emails, citing the specific California legal code regarding electronic harassment, as per the advice of the DA’s office.

However, her rantings continued:

May 1 — “So nice to hear from you. My Uncle’s friend has officially been hired by [the company at which my friend works]. His job information has not been revealed to me, but here are a few words of wisdom to the foolish: Think again before you send harassing e-mails to someone regarding something which is none of your business. You thought you could harass me and now you are not only getting a dose of your own medicine, but you are being overdosed with it. I suggest you not write to me anymore, since you are apparently living in fear due to the trouble you tried to start. P.S. You’re too stupid to be told the proper advice mentioned above, so I must tell you, the more e-mails you send to me, the better… All of your e-mail activity is being watched and your employee position is in serious danger as you as on your way towards being fired. I don’t have to work, I’m worth over 100 million dollars. GODDESSY and anything else I do is a hobby. You NEED your job and you are miserable as it is. Get smart, because you are the only one who will suffer.”

I posted most of her responses verbatim with the permission of my reader as addendums to my original posting about the bad web design company, Goddessy, the right to do so as given to me by the First Amendment, a right with which I’m sure you wholeheartedly agree and support. Keep in mind that this all stemmed from the innocent comment that “blue text on a black background is REALLY hard to read”!

No correspondence has been given to Stephanie since the April 30 email requesting her to stop her harassment. Now she has begun the venomous, vicious, vindictive cycle all over again, with no provocation, now posting comments directly onto my website:

“You are such an idiot and your web site is UGLY. It looks like a crack addict wrote and designed it. You are also a LIAR! I bet you are on welfare now. Whoever fired you from your real job did the right thing.”

“Richard doesn’t have anything to toot about. He can only fart and wish he was someone intelligent.”

“Your daughter is going to grow up and become a crack whørë for men to fûçk her up her ášš at $1 a pop. That’s what you taught her, Ðìçk!”

“This site and its trailer-trash ramblings is a toilet bowl of a web site. It’s full of nothing but šhìt, and nothing that comes out of it is any good. My web site looks great. Richard, you’re a mentally retarded slob. You need medication - or better yet, a noose for your neck.”

“My name is Richard. I am a loser who wishes I could talk to (or argue with) a real live playmate. I don’t have a life, my wife is ugly, I can’t keep a job for long, and I am a fat miserable fûçk who is demented enough to write about bûllšhìt. Somebody shoot me.”

“You sound like a jealous fág! Why don’t you get a sex change, Dicko?”

She goes on to call me a “nìggër” several times, calling me names such as “áššhølë” and “gay boy”, referencing my “šhìt web site, šhìt writings, and šhìt web design”, all this on a site intended mainly for my family and friends. She has made even more derogatory comments about my wife, posted my wife’s business phone number and our home phone number on the web in an advertisement of prostitution (which I was able to delete), and has insulted, belittled, shocked, and subsequently demoralized my under-age children.

This behavior is offensive to me, my friends, and my family, and I wish for it to end immediately. I am sure you will agree that it is not appropriate for an active agent of Playboy Enterprises to participate in the wanton defamation of my character, my family’s character, or anyone else’s. Because Playboy has such an outstanding worldwide reputation for excellence, I am providing you with the limited-duration opportunity to act on your own behalf, under the assumption that you will instruct Stephanie Adams (1) not to communicate with me, my family, or my friends again, whether under her real name or an assumed name; (2) not to post anything else on any website I own or manage, whether under her real name or an assumed name; (3) not to publicly discuss anything about me, my family, or my friends anywhere, whether on the Internet or off, in any medium, whether under her real name or an assumed name; (4) to remove any postings made on any other website about me, my family, or my friends, whether under her real name or an assumed name; and (5) to basically leave us all alone forever.

I expect you to provide the necessary discipline to Stephanie, who is, in effect, your employee. I expect Stephanie’s current behavior to end within 24 hours of the time you receive this fax (which will be followed up in letter form to your corporate offices in Chicago). I expect a written apology from a member of the executive management team at Playboy Enterprises for the unethical and immoral conduct of your paid representative. I expect a reason to convince me to reinstate my financial support of the Playboy empire. Failure to fulfill 100% of my expectations within five business days will convince me that you support Stephanie’s actions, and I will be forced to resort to more public, more litigious methods of re-obtaining a sense of security and safety for my family.

I look forward to your timely response.

If you liked this, you might also be interested in:

• A Figment of My Imagination…
• Web Designing in the Nude…
• Stephanie Adams is Wacko…
• Stephanie Threatens my ISP…
• Stephanie Adams, Psychopath…
• WOMC: Word of Mouth Connection Scam…
• Wikipedia Editing Weirdness…