Richard’s Ramblings

Of the 7,759 different visits to richard’s ramblings during August, 748 came from searches for “bernaola twins” and almost 1,500 from some variation like “bernaola twins nude”, “carol and darlene bernaola”, or the international “fotos de carol y darlene bernaola”.

About a thousand people were searching for solutions to their “manifest parse error” when installing Windows XP, and a lot of the rest came from searches for folks like “anna nicole smith”, “stephanie adams”, and “lolo ferrari” and their appropriate derivations. There were the usual, odd-sounding, but completely legitimate search phrases like “hairy testicles”, “grease the skids”, “smorking”, and “hobbit nude”, all of which were eclipsed by the manifestation and visitation of the really, really strange:

• “see me nude my site” — nude is now a verb?!
• “playing with your pënìš”, “how to play with your own pënìš”, and “how to play with your pënìš” — didn’t yours come with an instruction manual?
• “receive hotmail emails from myself” — put your email address in the To: box, and click Send.
• “chinese bøøbš makes me sick” — Kinda small, but I like ‘em just the same!
• “crop circles in armenia”, “1993 new york crop circles”, and “idaho crop circles” — have I ever mentioned crop circles in my ramblings?!
• “make suicide look like heart attack” — someone’s out to collect some insurance!
• “male breasts pictures” — I swear! I do not have bøøbš!
• “need a username and password for playboy” — it’s just $4.95 a month with an annual subscription, so just whip out your… credit card and join!
• “when was the world trade center finished” — September 11, 2001 or May 30, 2002, depending on how you look at it.
• “bull poop photos” — no idea!
• “buy me a høøkër paypal” — what a novel new business for PayPal…
• “curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared” — the origins for this one threw me for a loop until I realized that it was part of a well-known insult.
• “demand prostitution” — write your congressman!
• “her bøøbš are too big” — is that REALLY possible?!
• “break your own skull” — jump off a building headfirst; hit yourself in the head with a two-by-four; don’t wear a seatbelt; listen to AC/DC cranked up at the highest volume on your Bose entertainment system; the possibilities are endless…
• “twin bøøbš” — last time I checked, they came in pairs anyway!

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