Lame-Brained Litigants…
A friend of mine, Shannon, sent me a funny email the other day. I’m not sure of the original source, so I can’t give credit where credit is due…
“Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson’s son.
A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor’s hub caps.
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn’t re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner’s insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor’s beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
This year’s favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner’s manual that he couldn’t actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.”
Oh… my… God…
I did a bit of searching the Internet, and found that the lawsuits mentioned are fictitious, the product of an overly active email-spamming imagination. But, still, they are uncomfortably close to real events in today’s litigious society…
I actually don’t find “funny” stories like these at all amusing anymore. The more of them I hear the more I am convinced that the bane of our civilization will be (is!) the utter lack of personal responsibility. And the support structure that has developed, particularly within the legal system (but by no means limited to there!), to actively promote the abrogation of responsibility.
I dunno. I’m still kinda amused. It’s both sad and ludicrous at the same time. I mean, come on, try to picture the mental processes going on when the idiot decides to leave the cockpit of the Winnebago. Gives new meaning to “Leave the driving to us!” - RDL
I’d be amused if it was just a story of stupidity with the only victim the idiot themselves. The annual Darwin Awards can be quite entertaining! But when the idiot gets rewarded, rather than shamed? scolded? ridiculed? it’s no longer funny.
I found the following website, it’s really interesting! It is about what you mentioned, debunking these ludicrous stories, and there’s also a link to the McDonald’s case. After reading it, I can see why she sued and why she won — and I’ve been mocking that case for years!
I don’t know if you have any interest in the truth, but if you go to the web site of the real Stella Awards you will find that each of the cases listed here are fabricated and are not in fact real lawsuits. You will also find a fairly honest description of the Stella vs McDonalds case which you may find is not as absurd as it is often presented to be.
The McDonald’s case was interesting only because Mcd’s admited to keeping the coffee at temps far above the norm. The judge subsequently reduced the amount to 1/10 the orignal jury award because he thought it excessive, but couldn’t reduce it further by law. He also commented that the burns received by this woman were really quite extensive. Thanks for debunking the others.
Im doing legal research as a course at my university.So i was a little interested in checking out the validity of these cases. There are no cases like this present anywhere in the judicial records. Its a funny read but fictitious!
Let’s hope Ken learned to read a little more carefully and actually managed to complete his education!