Viva La France…
It’s late on the last night of the month with less than an hour to go until May, and I’m feeling particularly pissy. In light of France having spied for Baghdad by supplying Saddam’s regime with confidential UN and US transcripts and documents over the past several years, and France just being a pain in the ášš in general, AND for France having the nerve to call the United States arrogant, I’m going to pick on the French for a while.
These have been roaming around the ‘net lately, thanks to the actions and inactions of our not-quite-neighbors:
- Why should we have expected the French to help us liberate Iraq? They didn’t help us liberate France!
- Reckitt Benckiser Inc., the makers of French’s Mustard, recently released the following statement: “We at the French’s division of Reckitt Benckiser wish to put an end to statements that our product is manufactured in France. There is no relationship, nor has there ever been a relationship, between our mustard and the country of France. Indeed, our mustard is manufactured in Rochester, NY. The only thing we have in common is that we are both yellow.”
- When God created the Earth, he created one place that was especially beautiful. It had majestic mountains, picturesque cities, fertile wine fields. He called it France. So when God created the rest of the world, everybody complained, “Why the Hëll does France get all the nice stuff?” God was a fair guy, so he created French people.
- Three doctors are having lunch together when the one doctor brings up the easiest surgery he’s ever done. “Ya know, I just did an operation on an accountant and, man, was it easy! I opened him up and everything was in numerical order, completely in balance!’ The second doctor scoffed, “Oh, I can top that! Electricians are the best to operate on; everything is color coordinated.” Without hesitation, the third doctor said, “I have both of you beat! The easiest operation is on a Frenchman. There are no guts, no spine, no balls and if you ever get confused… the head and the ášš are interchangeable.”
- During World War II, the French resistance fighters, in their finest hour, bravely threw sticks of dynamite at the advancing German troops. The Germans then lit them and threw them back.
- How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, because he holds the bulb and the rest of the world revolves around him.
Oh, shut up! In case you haven’t noticed, my own last name is French — which gives me the perfect right to gripe, bicker, poke fun at, belittle, and moan…
When a country does not support the US interests, they are the terrorists. But what about the reason the US attacked Iraq, it was the oil they wanted to have. But France had a lot of oil contracts with Iraq, so there best way to defend the interests of France was to resist a war. What is the fûçkìng difference? And with the US economy in such bad shape, they need the Europeans, and also the French to buy American products. It is the old Europe who’s got the dollars, not eastern europe. So stop this bûllšhìt and get back to trade agreements.
Thanks Jacques. Very well said. This guy is just another stupid moron.
In no way did I intend this to become a serious discussion of any kind. Any similarity to a political hot topic of the past, present or future worthy of heated debate is entirely coincidental and unintentional.
It’s called a joke.