What is True Grit?
It’s 1980 and the X-Men have recently lost two of their team members, Jean Grey — also known as Marvel Girl and later Dark Phoenix — and Scott “Cyclops” Summers. What bubble gum is being pitched within the comic books to kids of that era? It’s tremendous fun to look at some of the ads of that time:
“DEFEND YOURSELF using the Oriental Secret of Karate, Kung-fu, or Judo. New home study course from a Registered Black Belt School. Learn in your spare time. Unbeatable Fighting Power!”
“FREE ONE MILLION CASH! Fool all your friends. You’ll get a Million $$$ worth of laughs with these exact reproductions of old U.S. Gold Banknotes from 1840. They’re yours FREE when you send for our brand new FUN CATALOG. Send only 50 cents for shipping.”
“LIVE SEA HORSES. $3.98 Kit includes 4 adults and up to 30 ponies from pregnant male, marine salt, food, live plant, live snail, and instructions. Live delivery guaranteed.”
“WILD WEST BONANZA. Send $2. Get two Indian Cents plus two Buffalo Nickels, all good quality. A great opportunity!”
“FULL-COLOR POSTER SPECTACULAR. 20 inch by 28 inch posters of the most popular personalities, plus two fabulous 24 inch by 72 inch giant poster offers! $2.50 each: Dirk Benedict [from Battlestar Galactica], Farrah Fawcett, Tattoo [yes, the little guy on Fantasy Island], and Scott Baio [from Happy Days]. Giant Scott Baio or Giant Susan Anton — $5.00 each”
“Remember how many times you felt left out because you were BROKE? Places the gang was going and you weren’t included? They all had money for movies, games, hamburgers and soft drinks… all of them except you. Well, you’ll never be left out again! Now YOU can make $5, $10 or more week after week. Introduce GRIT to friends, relatives, neighbors and others. GRIT will help you start your own business. GRIT will help you get started in a profitable business of your own by sending you papers, all the supplies you’ll need, and suggestions on how and where to begin. GRIT will assist you in every way to make this a happy, successful and profitable venture. Hurry! Sign up now!”
Of course, nowhere do they say what GRIT is…
Oh, the gum? It’s not Bazooka Joe. It’s Hubba Bubba. “Because when it comes to great, big, fat bubbles, nothing sizes up to a Hubba Bubba bubble. Big bubbles, no troubles.”
What, no x-ray specs? And imagine, a man of your age reading comic books. Sheesh.