More Blonde Jokes…
A blonde and a brunete were watching the 6 o’clock news. It was about a boy who was about to jump off a building. The brunette bet the blonde $50 that the boy would jump. The blonde agreed, raising the bet to $100. Patiently, they waited the outcome. It turned out that the unfortunate boy jumped so the blonde gave her friend $100. The brunette sighed and said “I can’t take your money. I saw the 5 o’clock news and saw the same story, so I knew he would jump.” The blonde said “No, keep the money, I also saw the 5 o’clock news, i just didn’t think he would jump again.”
A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation. “Miss Smith,” he said finally, “it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination.”
Three blondes are hiking and they see a pair of tracks. The first blonde says “These are bear tracks.” The second blonde said, “No, they’re rabbit tracks”. Then the third blonde says, “You’re both wrong. They’re wolf tracks.” Fifteen seconds later, they all get hit by a train.
What do you call a blonde with a brain? Pregnant.
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.” The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, “I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.” The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, “It’s just 99 cents a word.” Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, “I want you to send her the word, ‘comfortable.’” The telegraph operator shakes his head. “How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable’?” The brunette explains, “My sister’s blonde, she’ll read it very slowly.”
It was the mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup’s bottom edge. “All this was just too wonderful for words,” he said, “but what’s the dollar for?” “Well,” she said, “last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you.” He said, “Fûçk him, give him a dollar.” The blonde then said, “The breakfast was my idea.”
There was a blonde driving through the country. She had just dyed her hair brown because she was sick of being made fun of because her hair color. She was really hungry so she stopped at a farmer’s house and says, “Hi! If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?” The farmer agreed. She quickly counted them and said, “91.” The farmer looked around, counted, and said, “Ok. Take one.” When the blonde was walking back to her car the farmer asked, “If I can guess your natural hair color, can I have my dog back?”
Thanks for the info about the scam Olwen
PS I am blonde so every little helps!