Silly Email #342
My Mom passed me one of those myriad joke emails that she gets frequently. I scrubbed the list of humorous wisdom and passed on the best:
- If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
- Don’t worry about what people think; they don’t do it often.
- Going to a church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- It isn’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
- It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
- If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel good.
- Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
- Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
- A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
- Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
- Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
- By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
- Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
- If you must choose between two evils, choose the one that you’ve never tried before.
