Richard’s Ramblings

• She should be less concerned with who she’d descended from and more concerned with who she’d descended to.
• She doesn’t know the meaning of the word stupid; in fact, she doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.
• She’s got a rip in her bag of marbles.
• Trying to explain something to her is like trying to give a fish a bath.
• She’s like the Venus de Milo — pretty but not all there.
• She needs the rough end of a pineapple shoved up her ášš.
• The less she knows on any subject, the more stubbornly she knows it.
• If she went to a mind reader they wouldn’t bother charging.
• She’s living proof that the Cherokee fûçkëd buffalo.
• If she walked into a cornfield the crows would bring back the corn they stole last year.
• She fakes orgasms when she máštûrbátëš.
• Arguing with her is like trying to blow out a searchlight.
• That woman’s had her face lifted so many times that whenever she raises her eyebrows she pulls up her stockings.
• If she holds her nose any higher she’ll develop a double chin at the back of her neck.
• The reason she reached the top is because her clothes didn’t.
• The only reason anyone would call her a pûššÿ-cat is that she’s dyed nine times.
• There’s nothing wrong with her that trying to make her see reason won’t make worse.
• She’s the sort of woman who sows wild oats in the vain hope that the crops will fail.
• The way she dresses always reminds me of a bad photograph - overdeveloped and overexposed.
• She is the reason for contraception.

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