Still a Vanguard Noob…
Well, in the three days since I purchased the Vanguard Saga of Heroes pre-release DVD, I’ve managed only to rigorously test out their patch software. Every time I load it up, there’s been some new huge patch that takes hours or even half a day to download. Since I usually play games at night, that’s meant that I haven’t been able to play anything at all, not even World of Warcraft since the connection bar jumps to full-on red when patching VSOH at the same time.
I have been, however, somewhat amused by the patch notes. Here are some of my favorites:
- “Adjusted point values for starting mobs so you don’t die 100 times at level 1 killing noobie mobs. Now you’ll only die if you’re not paying attention.”
- “Fixed several appearance sets on various NPCs so when you fight them now, they actually have arms and legs.”
- “Griffons now lay griffon eggs instead of eagle eggs… Yes, we were weirded out by it too!”
- “Players will no longer get trapped inside the Pennstump house by their own jack o’ lanterns.”
- “The monk trainer in Khal has abandoned her vow of poverty and bought some decent clothes.”
- “Bojan Yazidi now has something to say, and he is no longer surrounded by sharks.”
- “The Tuatiren lizardman complained about it being a little cold outside, so we gave them something to wear.”
- “Numerous bug fixes in the Kojani Human, Orc, Goblin, Varanjar, Varanthari, Lesser Giant, and Dragon newbie lines. One of the previous races is a lie.”
- “Tharridon the Mighty should no longer aggro helpless players from great distances so players have a chance to react before they’re squashed into oblivion.”
- “Fix for intercepts and rescues causing you to target your groupmates offensively and then mercilessly kill them if you weren’t paying attention.”
- “Reduced the amount of life taken by Transmogrify. It will now be referred to as Transmogrify Lite, little girl strength.”
- “Several NPC types have been added underwater, I don’t suggest running into them alone.”
New notes from today’s patch:
Aww. I wanted to see the suicide run onto the spikes. Sounds like they are removing all the good stuff!