Things Not to do While Crossing the Border…
- Say “You know, you sure ask a lot of nosy questions for a rent-a-cop.”
- When asked if you have anything to declare, say “Yeah, my wife talks too much!”
- When asked the purpose of your visit, reply “I’m running from the law.”
- Tell the patrol official, “Please hurry the fûçk up!”
- Pull out a passport randomly from a large stack and say, “My name is Jason Bourne.”
- When asked the purpose of your visit, reply “To take half a course of flying lessons.”
- When asked if you have food to declare, ask if human remains count.
- Say “Hypothetically, if there was contraband wedged tightly inside the interior panels of the car, how likely would it be that you would find it?”
- When asked the purpose of your visit to the US, reply “Visit? When did I leave?!”
- Say “Ðámn those balloons! Is there a bathroom nearby?”
- When asked the purpose of your visit to Mexico, reply “I’m smuggling in a bunch of rich white people south to pick produce.”
- Write the words “Help me!” on your back window in blood-red paint.
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This rambling was posted on December 21, 2007
and filed under That's Entertainment
