Response to an AT&T Disconnection Notice
All my bills are paid by PayTrust, basically a clearing house that automatically processes all my bills electronically. Given the automatic nature of virtually everything these days, I was shocked to receive a letter from AT&T threatening to shut off our DSL service for nonpayment.
Naturally, I responded in typical sarcastic fashion:
Dear AT&T,
Today is Saturday, February 16, 2008. To my surprise, I received a Disconnection Notice in the mail this morning (dated February 4) which informed me that “failure to pay [the] outstanding balance or dispute the charges by 02/16/08 could result in the temporary or permanent disconnection” of my phone and data line.
Thanks for that unreasonably short notice.
Like so many others, I fully embrace the Information Age. All my bills are paid by PayTrust, basically a clearing house that automatically processes all my bills electronically. These EFT transactions save companies like yours millions of dollars per year in staffing and receivables processing.
Turns out that you stopped them from automatically logging in to retrieve the electronic bill. How did I find that out? Because when I went to your website in accordance with the instructions you provided in the Disconnection Notice, I couldn’t log in either. Nice job maintaining your account and payment website. Thanks for making it so easy to pay.
When I delved through the PayTrust logs, I discovered that you had changed the account login ability sometime before 12/27/2007, six weeks ago. I, of course, rarely log in to my AT&T account because I generally don’t need to, and thus was completely unaware of this change. I searched all my email archives since November of 2007 to see if you had sent me any notification that the login process had changed, or that my account access was modified. Nothing. Terrific communication. Thanks for keeping me so well informed.
Eventually, and with considerable time and difficulty, I was able to log in. Since your electronic service certainly does not seem to be reliable, and thus its security is also therefore questionable, I obviously can not trust you with my bank account information. I was forced to pay my bill via credit card, a practice I prefer to avoid. Not surprisingly, I received the following message after making the payment: “This payment may not avoid collection activity on your account. If your services have been or are scheduled to be turned off for non-payment, please contact us today.” Great attitude and business acumen. Thanks for making me feel so welcome and valued, especially since I’m working to try to fix a problem you caused.
OK, so I then tried to contact the AT&T Customer Service department using the information provided both in the letter and the website in order to inform them of my payment. After being stuck for almost 15 minutes in the clutches of some moronic computer-generated avatar that failed to understand basic English responses such as “agent”, “billing”, and “customer service”, I was finally transferred to the customer service department — but only after I told it in frustration, “Fûçk off and get me a dámn human!” Nice speech recognition system. Thanks for that nice warm feeling that makes me feel like something other than an account number.
I realize that AT&T is a large company, the right hand often not knowing what the left hand is doing. If you make the incorrect decision to depersonalize your customers and force them to speak to a computer rather than treat them with dignity and respect, there is a great speech recognition product out there that’s been used for many years that was developed by the AT&T Advanced Speech Products Group. I should know; a decade or so ago, I helped many companies create and refine their speech recognition products. Give them a call. I’m sure they’d be happy to help. I have their phone number if you need it.
That is assuming, of course, you are still able to call me. Remember that customer service department your pathetic avatar transferred me to? No one there. They are apparently closed on Saturdays, which means that I might not have phone service on Tuesday when you’re back at work after the holiday. Naturally, I found that out after being forced to listen to the inane electronic commentator lauding over AT&T’s dedication to providing superior customer service — 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Nice commitment to quality. Thanks for ensuring that you’ll always be there to help me.
You need to recognize that you have varying types of customers that require different levels of treatment. The letter you sent to me is only appropriate for customers that are three months behind in their payment, have a low credit score, a dilapidated single-wide mobile home, a pit bull named Spike, a lifetime membership in the NRA, and an accent from somewhere in the Deep South. None of those deforming afflictions apply in my case.
Since I had this line installed about nine years ago, I have spent approximately $11,772 with AT&T. Just for this one business line. My AT&T phone and DSL service is clearly overpriced by today’s standards; I’d probably save 50% per month by signing up with someone else. And yet I have not changed providers (1) because of the anticipated hassle; (2) because I’d probably lose the convenience of having multiple, always-on, static IP addresses with the lower-cost carriers; and (3) I’m frankly just waiting until I move to ditch AT&T, hopefully within the next year. I’m not really all that happy with your overpriced inadequate service anyway, so try not to make it easier for me to find an excuse to switch in the meantime.
Please find enclosed a bill for $187.50 to cover the hour and 15 minutes it took to research and correct your problems for you. If you would like to discuss this invoice or have any questions, feel free to call me.
If you can.
