10 Things NOT to do While Watching The Return of the King

  1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, “Where the hëll is Harry Potter?”
  2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
  3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: “The Ring.”
  4. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.
  5. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone’s finger and fall down the stairs.
  6. In The Two Towers when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout “RUN FOREST, RUN!”
  7. Imitate what you think a conversation between Gollum, Dobby and Yoda would be like.
  8. Release a jar of daddy-long-legs into the theater during the Shelob scene.
  9. Wonder out loud if Aragorn is going to run for governor of California.
  10. Dress up as old ladies and reenact “The Battle of Helms Deep” Monty Python style.

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